James’ Story

Suffering in depression is an unimaginable illness to those who have not endured it, and can easily become a terminal condition when the prospect of joy appears impossible. The darkest episodes often end in tragedy, through which the disease of depression is easily transmitted.

I speak through experience having lived through the tragedy and the passing of one of my best mates to suicide when I was 17 years old, a memory which is vivid in my mind to this day. At the time, there was very little awareness around what to do next. We were all left reeling, traumatised and searching for answers.

When you find yourself in the thick of processing grief, there is very little that can prepare you for the avalanche of emotions that come with it; shock, anger, guilt, regret, unending sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, depression, intrusive thoughts, intrusive images, depersonalisation and feeling overwhelmed. Yes, I can say with a crystal clear emotional memory that I felt all of these things at one time or another, and still do when I think about it.

Left unchecked, these negative emotions entrench themselves as traumas, and those traumas have a broad impact on the surviving community of loved ones. That is why this project means so much to me, because with the right kind of support, that is timely and freely given, there is a chance that we can stop depression before it spreads. 

My dream is that all survivors left behind by suicide are given the right support to begin processing their emotions in a healthy way, right away. I believe that this opens the door to honour the positive memories, to commemorate our loved ones, find acceptance and resilience through the experience of the unchanging present, to stop depression before it takes root and replant the seeds of joy.

That’s a cause worth fighting for.

James